Practical advice for male victims

If you are experiencing abuse, there are practical steps to consider if you are in danger.  

• Keep your phone fully charged with helpful contacts, and with you where possible should you need to make an emergency call.  
• If it is safe, keep a record of incidents including dates, times and a summary of what took place.   

• Get medical advice if you have been injured. You can do this via your GP or your local A&E department. Any information you disclose will be kept on your medical records which you can rely on as evidence.   

• Keep important documents and copies of these in a safe place. If you need to flee, identification will be important to have.    

• Consider telling a trusted friend, relative or neighbour about the abuse and any plans you have. They may be able to offer support and a safe place to stay in an emergency.  

• Where possible, keep a small amount of cash in a safe place that can pay for emergency travel, accommodation or phone calls if you need to flee.   

Only take these steps if you believe it is safe to do so. 

Retaliating may place you at greater risk of being hurt or harming the abusive person. It could also make it more difficult for other people to understand what has happened, and lead to criminal investigations.  

Where possible, we suggest you focusing on escaping and getting to a place of safety.   

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

You may feel unsure about involving the police and getting your partner / ex-partner or family member into trouble.  You may also fear not being believed or that you could be seen as the abuser.  

The police are trained in domestic abuse, its impact on victims/survivors, and how to respond. This will vary depending on what has happened and the risk factors involved.  

They may: 

• Speak to you and the other person separately 

• Take steps to protect you and any children in the home 

• Ask you and any witnesses about the incident and take statements  

• Record injuries, damage and gather any evidence at the scene  

• Explain the next steps  
• Put you in touch with local and national male victim support services  

Specialist programs are available for people who recognise that their behaviour is abusive, and want to change. 

If you feel it is safe to do so, and you want to help the person causing harm get support, put them in touch with Respect Phoneline who offer advice and support to anyone using harm in relationships who wants to change.  

The person causing harm can contact Respect Phoneline for confidential information and support: 0808 802 4040

They can also visit the Respect Phoneline website for information and support.

Specialist programs can help someone take responsibility for their abusive behaviour and work towards change. However, there is no guarantee that their behaviour will change or that any changes made will last. 

The safety of you and your children is our priority.