Men’s Advice Line Information Hub
There are a range of services available for men who have been affected by domestic abuse that support you to receive emotional and practical help, understand your rights and options and safely leave an abusive relationship.
The Information Hub has been created to help you find contacts to your local domestic abuse service, access refuges for male victims and links to various organisations offering specialised support for other areas of need.
If you’re feeling controlled, unable to make your own decisions, scared, intimidated or threatened by your partner or a family member, you’re being abused. Your relationship doesn’t have to be physically violent to be abusive. We are here to help you and offer confidential support for male victims.
Healthy relationships aren’t like this. It isn’t your fault.
Domestic abuse can affect you and your children. As well as your mental and physical health, your home, access to resources and immigration status. Your employment can also be at risk.
Advice for male victims
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If you’re being verbally or physically abused at home, prepare now for a time when you may be in danger.
- Write down dates and times of when you’ve been physically or verbally abused. Go to A&E or see your GP if you have been injured. All notes they make of your injury will be fully confidential by law.
- Keep your phone charged and on you at all times, in case you need to make emergency calls.
- Keep your passport and copies of important documents in a safe place outside the home. You might want to choose a trusted friend or relative to leave them with.
- Report any violence or criminal damage to the police.
- Tell a friend, family member or your employer about what’s been happening.
It isn’t safe to retaliate. If the situation escalates, you could get hurt, or end up hurting the abuser. If the police are called and you’re seen as the abuser, you could be arrested.
Instead, try to leave any situation which may become violent.
Male victims of domestic abuse often tell us that they don’t want to involve the police. They’re worried about the abuser getting into trouble, and don’t think the police will believe them or take action.
The police will take your allegations seriously, but they can only help if you report the abuse in the first place.
What to expect
- First, the police will take immediate steps to stop the violence, such as making sure you and your children are safe, and arresting the abuser and escorting them from the property.
- You and any witnesses will be asked for statements, so that the police can investigate what happened.
- The police will collect evidence. This might include taking photographs of any damage and injuries to you or your children.
- You and your abuser will be spoken to separately.
- You’ll be kept informed of the progress of the case.
If you are frightened or in danger, call 999.
Is there help for the abuser?
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Once an abuser recognises that their behaviour is unacceptable, there is support for them to change it.
Consider whether approaching your partner about getting help to change will put you or your children at risk. If you think your partner might become angry or violent when you talk to them, talk to us at Men’s Advice Line first.
If the abuser recognises that they have a problem, they can call the confidential Respect Phoneline on 0808 8024040. Calls are free from landlines and mobile phones within the UK.
They can also visit www.respectphoneline.org.uk for information and support.
There’s specialist support for domestic violence perpetrators who want to change their behaviour. Unfortunately, there’s no knowing how long change will take or whether their behaviour will change for good.