Help and support
Domestic violence happens in same-sex relationships too. Approximately 8-10% of men who call the Men’s Advice Line identify as gay or bisexual.
Talk it over – call the Men’s Advice Line
Talk to our trained advisors on our confidential helpline. We will listen to you, give you practical advice and information about accessing specialist help. Call us on freephone 0808 801 0327 (free from landlines and most mobiles) Monday – Friday 9am-5pm or email [email protected]
How to increase your safety and reduce the risk
There are some things you can do to help you reduce the risk from your abusive partner (or ex-partner). It is important to prepare in advance for times when you may be in danger or are being physically or verbally abused:
1. Keep a record of dates and times of all incidents. If you have been injured, get medical attention from Accident and Emergency (A & E) or your GP and they will make notes of your injuries.
2. Keep your phone fully charged and on you at all times and your credit topped up – in case you need to make emergency calls.
3. Tell a friend or family member about what’s been happening.
4. Keep your passport and copies of important documents in a safe place (with a friend or relative).
5. Think about telling your employer about your situation.
6. Always report the violence or criminal damage to the Police.
Do not retaliate – it’s not safe
Always try to avoid retaliating as it may escalate things and you might get seriously hurt. Think about how you can leave the situation when you recognise that the abuser may become violent to you.
If you retaliate and the police are called it may be that they see you as the abuser and you could be arrested and charged, particularly if your partner has any injuries caused by your retaliation.
Report domestic violence incidents to the Police
Male victims of domestic violence often tell us that they are reluctant to involve the Police; either because they don’t want the abuser getting in trouble or because the Police will not believe them or take action. The Police should take your allegations seriously do the following:
1. Get a statement from you and any witnesses and thoroughly investigate what has happened.
2. Take steps to stop the violence, which may mean removing the abuser from the property.
3. Collect evidence, for example take photographs of any damage to property and injuries to you (or your children).
4. Ensure that you (and your children) are safe, arrest the abuser and escort them from the property or take you (and your children) to a safe place.
5. Speak to you and your abusive partner separately.
6. Keep you informed of the progress of the case.
If you are frightened or in danger call 999.
Further help and support
Find out about non-LGBT specific services and organisations that can help in the Useful links for male victims of domestic violence section.
Services for gay and bi men
National helpline- support for LBGT people experiencing domestic violence. Tel: 0300 999 5428
Survivors UK a national organisation providing information, support and counselling for men who have been raped or sexually abused. 0845 122 1201
Services in the Greater London area
Housing advice, advocacy, supported housing for LBGT people in London. Helpline: 020 7359 5767
Helpline for LBGT people in the London area experiencing trans-phobic and homophobic hate crime. Free and confidential advice and assistance. Tel: 0207 704 2040
Bede House – SAFE Project
Online and text message-based support for members of the LGBT community experiencing domestic violence or hate crime in Southwark.
The Havens are specialist centres in London for people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. Anyone in London who has been raped or sexually assaulted can come to the Haven.